


misunderstandings

by orphan_account



Series: james & alex & george [2]
Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Accidental Voyeurism, Jealousy, M/M, This is so fucking dumb, hng reposting this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-29
Updated: 2019-03-29
Packaged: 2019-12-26 11:33:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,671
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18281753
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: "James. You can stay," Alex says breathily. "Watch if you want to."





	misunderstandings

"So," James bursts out one day while he and George are alone in his apartment. "You're fucking Alex, huh?" George looks up from his laptop.

"He told you?" He asks, raising an eyebrow.

"He kind of had to," James explains quickly. "I uh–I saw those bruises you'd left on his neck and I kind of demanded to know."

"Oh," George says, looking down at his hands, a slight blush creeps into his cheeks. "Yeah– that. Well it's nothing serious."

"He told me as much," James says. "Could it ever... become something serious?" It comes out a little more nervous than he means it too and he knows he's laid all his cards on the table at this point. He likes Alex, he's jealous and he's certainly not being subtle about it.

"No," George says, but the way he says it tugs at something in James chest.

"George, tell me the truth," James says.

"No, alright? It's never going to be anything more than sex. I promise. Just tell him you like him already." James feels his face get hot.

"It's not that simple," he mutters. "I need time... to sort this all out. It's kind of new, you know? Liking men. Liking Alex." George snorts.

"Mate I hate to break it to you but it's pretty obvious you've had a massive crush on him since you met," he says.

"I guess I have," James admits. "I just didn't realize that was w gahat I was feeling for a while. Actually I didn't realize until I found out you two were sleeping together and I suddenly wanted to hit you."  
George looks at him for a moment.

"Do you want me to stop fucking him while you grow the balls to talk to him?" George asks, sounding very reluctant. James considers it, and it's certainly a tempting offer. He sighs.

"No, no that's hardly fair," he says. George shrugs and goes back to his computer.

"Suit yourself," he says.  
…

It's not even just the possibility of rejection that keeps James from doing it (though, of course that's part of it), it's also the fact that James doesn't know what to say or when to say it without it being completely uncomfortable. His brain just can't formulate a sentence to tell Alex he likes him that makes any sort of sense.

Being casual about it feels wrong, he can't very well just casually say 'hey I'm really into you. want to be my boyfriend?' Alex would probably think he was joking, but being all serious about it would he even worse.

He thinks about doing it over text, but that's just weird and kind of cowardly, but what time could he do it in real life? After torturing himself for a while he decides that he's just got to wait for the right moment, like somehow at some time far off in the future the exact right thing to say will pop into his head at the exact right time.

Only problem with that is, waiting around for the right moment can take a long time. So days pass and he still hasn't talked to Alex, which means George is definitely still fucking Alex (confirmed by the near constant collection of fresh bruises on his neck) which just makes James even more miserable about the whole situation.

It all comes to a boiling point one day when James decides he can't take it any more, he has to do it at some point and it might as well be now. He goes over to Alex's place, he has to actively try and steady his breathing on the way over.

He pauses a moment at the apartment door. He feels legitimately sick, he feels dizzy and nauseated and both too hot and too cold. Maybe he's come down with a very sudden case of the flu. He thinks he might collapse, but he takes a deep breath and lets himself into the apartment.

Maybe if he wasn't so completely terrified and caught up in his own thoughts he would've heard something before stepping into the living room, but he was and he didn't so he ends up stepping in to see them on the couch. At first they just look like an expanse of pale skin. It takes his brain a split second to process the scene and then he realizes it Alex and George. Alex and George fucking. George is fucking Alex right there is front of him. He thrusts into him at a fast, erratic pace. Alex is clawing at George's back, leaving red stripes behind his fingernails.

James stands there rooted to the spot, unable to tear his eyes away from them, brain entirely void of any thought whatsoever, coherent or otherwise.

"James–fuck," Alex says, breaking off into a gasp. George doesn't even turn to look at him, he just keeps fucking Alex like it's the only thing in the world that matters.

"Fuck, fuck," James says, his brain booting back up again. "I'm sorry–shit. I'll– I'm going. Fuck."

"James. You can stay," Alex says breathily. "Watch if you want to." James gapes at him. Watching makes him want to crawl out of his own skin, but he can't leave either. He can't possibly tear himself away. He's hard, but he doesn't want to touch himself, that would be too much. This whole situation is too sudden, he feels like he's been knocked into some kind of alternate reality.

There's too much happening for James to process it all at once. He sees it in fragments. One of George's hands threaded through Alex's hair, Alex's head thrown back with his eyes closed and his mouth parted, George kissing Alex's throat, George's hips snapping into Alex at a brutal pace, George's second hand squeezing Alex's hip so tightly it'll undoubtedly bruise, Alex's hands clutching at George's back.

George comes, shuddering and moaning out an incoherent string of curses and Alex's name. He collapses against Alex and suddenly it hits James how private this is and he feels like a real pervert. He's about to leave when Alex addresses him.

"Will you come give me a hand?" He asks. James swallows hard, but he cautiously approaches the couch, Alex wriggles out from beneath George so James has access to his cock. He's never given a hand job before, but he supposes it's not any different than jerking yourself off. It doesn't takes much, anyway, he tentatively strokes Alex's cock three times and then he's coming all over James' hand. He sits there, crouched by the edge of the couch while Alex and George recover.

George looks at him and starts to laugh, it should make it feel more normal, but it doesn't. Alex grins.

"You want me to suck you off?" He asks, raising an eyebrow.

"I-I've got to go," James says, he stands up, absentmindedly wipes his come covered hand on his jeans (which he'll regret later, for sure) and gets out as quickly as he can.

... 

James strips down and showers as soon as he gets home. He feels filthy. Somehow it all feels ruined. He doesn't know how he'll be able to look at either of them ever again without wanting to shoot himself. So, with little else to do James avoids them for the next few days. He doesn't even text Alex back when he asks if he's alright. After a few more messages he blocks Alex's number in a panic.

He knows he won't be able to avoid them forever, but he thinks the longer he can put off the inevitable confrontation the better. 

Of course, Alex isn't having it and the day after it happens there's a knock on the door. James knows who it is before he answers, but he goes to open it anyway.

"We need to talk," Alex says, brushing past James into the apartment. James takes a deep breath and nods. "So that really freaked you out?" Alex asks, turning to face James.

"Yeah, yeah a little," he mutters. Alex sighs.

"I'm sorry mate," he says. "I–I thought you'd be into it. I didn't mean to make you feel like you had to stay."

"No, you were right... I–I was into it. Kind of." He'd liked seeing Alex looking like that, wasn't so happy that it was George who'd made him "I just feel really weird about it now. Like I fucked our friendship up completely," James explains.

"It doesn't have to be like that," Alex says. "It's in your own head. I'm fine, George is fine. You just need to get over it." James sighs.

"I mean, you're right. I think you're right." He says.

"And you said yourself... it was hot..." Alex trails off. "There's no reason why we shouldn't be able to mess around without it being a big deal." James shakes his head.

"See I think that's the problem," he says, his heart is in his throat at this point. "I don't want it to be like that, I don't want to be your friend with benefits. I want to be more than that." Alex stares at him for a moment.

"More than that?" He asks.

"Yeah... like a boyfriend," James says quietly, looking down at his hands.

"A boyfriend?" Alex echoes. James nods, James knows that it's pretty much over for him. He should've just settled for being friends with benefits.

"I'm sorry," James says "I know you're probably not interested in me in that way. I-"

"I am," Alex says, cutting him off. "I am interested in you like that." James looks up. "I never thought that you would be."

"Oh," he says, dumbfounded.

"Yeah." Alex grins. James leans in and kisses him, soft and tentative. The other man brings a hand up to rest on James cheek. They break apart after a moment. James grabs Alex's hand.

"You'll stop shagging George, right?" He asks, half teasing. 

"I'm all yours," Alex laughs. James heart swells and he pulls him into another kiss.


End file.
